i wrote a song! i haven think of a title yet!

Writing a song with a broken heart, Flashbacks take us into a timeless part, all those memories you had left behind. oh oh~

Lying on the bed, tears keep tumbling down. All those regrets that aches my heart, Makes me wanna bawl my eyes out, makes me wanna shout it all out

when you're in denial, can't accept the truth. Why did you left me, I'm breaking down. wishing you could come back, i just wanna hold you. i just wanna hold you, i just wanna hold you one last time! (chorus)

Trying to fill the emptiness inside. Staring at the pictures, missing you so bad. knowing dreams can longer be fulfilled ,ohh ohh~

Glimpsing across the sky,i know you are there All those angels they are everywhere. makes me wanna reach out to you, makes me wanna soar up to you

when you're in denial, can't accept the truth. Why did you left me, I'm breaking down. wishing you could come back, i just wanna hold you i just wanna hold you, i just wanna hold you one last time! (chorus)

Wished I had treasure you, the love of yours are so surreal, But it's already too late, you are already gone. Just know that You will always be in my heart~

when you're in denial, can't accept the truth. Why did you left me, I'm breaking down. wishing you could come back, i just wanna hold you i just wanna hold you, i just wanna hold you one last time! (chorus)

my ups and downs

Been thru the tough times and realized how important to manage financial matters and to take the step out to certain perspects. these few days i've watched a documentary called Craigslist Joe and a local movie called taxi taxi that had inspired me. I'm the kind of person who tends to be very easy-going, having no definite views of my own, spendthift and i ended up being penniless every end of the month. Came to realise how pathetic i'm when i'm all dried up.

Simply no one will be giving you free lunch/treats to simpathise you, life is unfair and it totally suxs when you have to stay at home that you have to bear the consequences and agony of boredness because you are BROKE!

In this kind of state, having the urge to have the things i want badly and blaming myself for spending things that people don't appreciates, when will i start to love myself? it starts from NOW.

Lately my dad had been retrenched and the pressure had slowly came in to me, i just felt that im still so young why must i bear the responsibility so early? but this is the home that builds me, to whom i am now. And so, i needa grow up, i needa stay strong. maybe this crisis will make me change, make me grew stronger and of cause to care for my family more than ever.

Sometimes i seriously hate to work, especially working with tons of people in shifts, because the mouth of a person is so evil that judges just by looking on one side. It's totally ridiculous and words spreads like some crickets, they keep quiet when they see you and make alot of noise when you ain't there.

What's most challenging than having to learn new things the hard way, it sucks big time but still i gotta stay positive and learn. maybe they despised me, maybe they see me as a small kid. but still, i have wings, i can be like a kid and avoid to run away or just quit. i didn't, because im maturing, i learned to bear responsibilities, i learned to appreciate the opportunities i had.

Sometimes having Demi Lovato as my role model is just so awesome, she inspired me so much and made my life much happier. People may judge her from how she looks, but the history among her was not just being a singer. it was the flaws that she battled with anorexia & selfharm, the person she had changed into, stronger and standing up against bullying. Her musics and vocals are just so phenomenon and unique. That's the reason I LOVE HER, i know how it feels to be bullied because i was a victim too. And that makes me a LOVATIC who stands by her no matter what. :) <3

i want a better life

'When one door closes, the other opens.'

Most probably i had been relying on others that isn't meant for me. When i'm encountering problems, the first thing i ever wanna do was trying to vent out my doubts & unhappiness to my closest friends. But most likely i got was their comfort, but still there will be periods that i just ball my eyes out. Feeling that i needa vent out, i felt unfair & exhausted that i bottled up my emotions.

some said: 'The more you bottle that anger up, the more likely it is that it will explode.'

I wanna change badly, i wanna be like Demi, pretty, flawless and successful. And so i have to force myself to stay strong, to slim down, to hate food that causing me to be so ugly and fat! i hate to see myself like this. i must be determine!

And today the most turnoff things i totally cannot withstand is being with stingy guys. Speechless, with this kind of character, it's literally not my cup of tea.

Friends

Happy birthday to my best friend from northbrook sec! <3 she really is the best and kind person i ever know! Hope she had a wonderful day today. Although she's busy with her life, but when we always meet up, our close and familiar feeling nv fades! i don't feel awkward with her after so long! haha. Feel glad to be able to see her again! :)

Today i felt lonely after seeing couples by couples together, when people are in relationships, they will be in their tian mi mi world and neglecting alot of things/friends around them. Guess i was like that last time. No wonder i lost alot of friends last time. SIGH! I wanted alot of friends badly now. So that they can make my life more happier and to cover up the loneliness in my heart when im home! i can't live without FRIENDS seriously! To be able to enjoy and pass everyday to be a memorable one with friends really make me so happy. Due to some past, i don't really put in much hope on relationship till now. Just plain tired and upset.

If god gave me a chance to make more new friends and make my life more easier, i will be so much contented now! I wanna to go overseas with friends badly, i just love outing! ENVY ppl is all i can do right now.

ungrateful

Today had plenty of thoughts and guess i should probably share this here. Always wondered why couples would quarrel with over just a trival matter and the next day they are just back as normal again. Even to strong-headed person, they can throw away their pride and are able to give in during the arguement. Sigh. Poor me end up out thr alone after they left. Sadded

being honest, i can't tolerate sensitive people that will get angry without even finding the truth and ASSUME! And especially throwing tantrum on ppl who was just showing some concern. i always tell myself not to throw tantrum on people even i was really angry at that moment!! because if you dislike how people treat you that way, don't do it to others.

Thats why i can't withstand people giving faces when im talking to him/her nicely. its simply like owing people money that kinda of faces! Its a major turnoff to people like this, even how good, handsome and rich, i still detest this kind of people seriously. sometimes i felt that being so good to people is just an impression, they never know how the person got taken for granted. How she felt when people don't appreciate what she gives, how she felt when she was forgotten when she isnt a need, how she gets those unreasonable harsh words for ppl. It's like more painful than heartless.

this few weeks

This few weeks was busy with my braces, plucked 4 tooth and it was super horrible! my greatest fear was to go to the dentist when im young, can't believe that i took up the courage and plucked my teeths with no preparation~ powder-ful man! haha.

Recently my sisters and i were trying to learn the gangnam style, super epic that we video our gangnam lesson at a void-deck! with no instructor to teach us, we learned by viewing on youtube! For my 21st bday, i told everyone to learn the steps so that i can make a flashmob on my bday! So excited about it and its gonna be crazy~

It was so unexpected!

Ytd was so unexpected & totally crazy! Had to study for tdy final test and yet i was super reluctant to flip the tutorial notes. And so after my dinner at buddys cafe, i took up a challenge to play basketball just to distress myself. But found myself so grateful that im able to play full court which brings back much memories. when im home, was so weary to start revising. Because i find no companion to study with me peacefully! And so i was texting joey and she tempted me to go club~, i hesitated for quite awhile. It was super random that i posted on twitter that im going to club and dine text me that she wanna club too!

They both super cute max, wanted to club so badly but knowing that i got test end up nv ask me~ earlier! so we three went to drink some alcohol and had some rigorous jostling dance. The gangnam style was the most epic one! ^^ many thanks to them that made my day a unforgettable one. :)

Today's final test took me quite long to complete, from how i bombard my answers i think i would be able to pass bah. :P haha! So last min to absorb all my notes for like about 2hrs~. Perhaps im really a genius? no wonder ppl always say im so complancent! #swag. IM JUST GLAD THAT EXAMS ARE OVER! #freedom <3