life suxs

I doesn't belong in a place where i really don't belong in the first place. Cant communicate with different ppl who cant think and is so inconsiderate. Hmmmm. no need to bad mouth me at the back de mah. Just say infront of me la. NOT happy say out lah. need give attitude meh. i also didnt notice my msg mah. Fcuk sia. sorry God. i really very angry now. Really hated myself for being so stupid for not going to poly. Then i wont have this kind of classmates that are hypocrites. I must prove to ppl that i am nt stupid just lazy! shall prove it to ppl, hate being despised. Arghhh! this year so much things and problems! i must be strong! dun want to lose out. i must be in the big post then ppl, so that i wont be despise! Will show them, who i am, as i shall be a different person nw! I am nt childish le! please pardon me for doing that. i want to learn to be dao or diligent. i dun wan to get any problem jus to hurt myself. nw i know how ppl are so selfish and complacent. i am just protecting myself. hmmm. going to sign up for Thai boxing. yeah. and join outside team if i have the chance to go for tournament. vent off my stress and anger.

i need to breathe

Maybe i need to take a short break to breathe my surroundings. observing life and relationships had make me more diligent in my daily life. Of how bad this world can be, there's still much things i still need to go through it as i am still young and naive. hmmm. some friends told me to change myself in a way of childishness, but there's still a kid in me. Is very hard to be mature and be more lady-liked. but I'm trying very hard to become a different person. Just cant stand my foolishness. i jus wan to be outstanding in a way people will love me. i know when there's a problem, God will have a way to let me solve my problems. Must see how strong and determine i am. I shall be a new and change person now. Erase about my past and looking forward towards my future. Now then i understand the cycle of relationship. must think negative always so that i wont be so disappointed. lets concentrate on studies and keeping fit bah. thank you God for everything. For letting me have so much great friends who really cares for me. =) life is just so unbeautiful.

This few days, thought of God, read quite a number of books and understand a little of the bible. ytd i borrowed a Children illustrated bible. started reading and reading. it was quite interesting as it has pictures on it mah! i still a child okay! cannot read too much words de bible, will fall asleep de leh! hehe. this is the first time i will want to read books man!!! hahaha. hmmm. and bought a new A maths book. starting on it to upgrade myself!! hmmm. i think i should start listening to classes to go to poly! my only wish! hmmm. but first of all, i must change my habits by not saying any vulgarities anymore, respect my parents, being healthy, by going for more exercising and running! If i need to change myself, firstly is must be the figure la! haha. cannot become a fatty! hmmm. maybe gonna train pacts! =D And next would be my outfit! if i can make it to poly, i will need to have lots n lots of clothes and shoes. Clothes that is more lady-liked, or sporty type! hmmm. gt a new list of things to buy this year! omg! faint! =.= need to work again!! =D but nvm, for beauty is okay. =) hmmm. maybe when i am free, i can start composing my very own song & dance. cos kena influence by church songs and TV! haha. scaly i can become famous lyk my 'sister' Felicia chin ar!!! u all wait and see ar! i will be on TV to be a Cutiest Xiaomaomi in animal channel! =P hahahaha. nah. just kidding. i noe it wont happen la. but horx, i still the cutiest horx!! hahaha. i noe thick skin rite? but...... is the fact. HAHAHA. stay happy always everyone!! cheers~

Valentine day!

Today is the happiest day of my life! hehe. hmmm. firstly, went to meet dear at Dhoby ghaut to go Vivo city. then when we reached there, we went to search for restaurant to eat, cos we couldn't make up our minds. End up we went to eat Pasta Mania! hmmm. had some pasta and then went for a walk around. then went to the top of Vivo city, where there's lots of couple sitting here n there. some with flowers, some with Soft toys. i was so envy on them! i thought dear didn't got me anything. hehe. but.............. hehe. lets continue where did we went first. hehe. hmmmm. then we decided to go other places. and that would be Clarke quay for a walk. hmmm. had some Hokkaido ice cream. so nice man!! and sat at the river there. so romantic. hahaha. then after that went for a walk at the shopping center. as i didn't go there b4. hmmm. then had a few blisters on my leg. pain pain. =( cos i wore my new shoe mah. then bought some plaster but still limping around. then after that went back home to Khatib. when reached Khatib, dear suggest to piggy back me. then he piggy back me awhile. hehe. so relax and i felt so loved. =) hehe. hmmm. then dear send me till my hse carpark there. had some hugs. =) then when i reached home, i felt abit disappointing that dear didn't get for me anything for something to keep. but!!!! hehe. when we msg each other. he told me that is at his hse. but need to take cab down to pass it to me de. cos is a big big bear! hehe. omg! i was so shocked and happy! =P hehe. so freaking happy! He is my first Valentine!! and had given me great memories!! i simply love you so much!!! hehe. so happy!

i want to be a outstanding aerospace engineer!!! like Ruien and Jesseca!! hehe. i am starting to think that aerospace is becoming more and more interesting! hehe. But my greatest wish is going to poly!!!!! If can, pls bless me. if i go poly, i can get another cert, join school team basketball, know new friends! especially Handsome or pretty one. hahahahaha. jkjk. =P haix!!! if only i can rewind back myself. i will wan to study hard. i dun like being despise! so must prove it to ppl that! i no longer the stupid gal anymore! so nw i shall be a new person! hopefully my attachment will help to get to poly!!! hmmm. and now, time to change my outfit and my looks. thinking that i should buy more lady-like dresses and heels. =P but Money!!! hmmm. Think that i should start saving up!!! hehe. anyway bought quite allot things this year. a new lady cut shoe! hehe hmmm. i am trying to be a better person and be more mature nw!! as i am going to 18 this year!! hehe.