sorry~

i miss the happy days with you. Especially the craziness we had, the moments we both were so close together, drinking bubble tea, buying waffle, playing DDR, shooting basketball, you singing songs loudly when listening mp3 in bus, on ur bed chit chat and gossiping, doing funny actions, tickling and playing together, laughing at ppl and ourselves. this two nights, two whole day let me realize how important to me as closest sister.



What really hurts me is that your closest friend turns sour and cold to you.. is like thousands & thousands of needles piercing through your heart. And I'm shivering with fear all by alone. Wanted to explain clearly and saying a millions sorry to her..

想了一整个晚上，思考了，原来我是一个，一直都在吵她，打扰到她的生活，没有给她自己的空间， 自作主张的人。
原来太过的担心，会令人那么的反感的。
I'm over reacting, complacent and stubborn.
I have always thought of giving up, but when i suddenly thought of her, i just have the strength to carry on again. Because i salute her life, i respect her allot, wholeheartedly just want to stay beside her as a sister. Although sometimes she's very fierce, and often had mood swings. i still want to stand beside her with no complains at all. having much more patient than other people, Always tell myself that if there's ties or misunderstanding between us, so that we won't have cold wars or quarreling.
But now, its not because of that, is because of MYSELF!!
i didn't know that my actions had left you no space of privacy. I'm so over worried that had lead my thoughts goes far beyond the line. I guess i was just over reacting, just being too over imaginative. didn't understand you well enough. because this is the first time i really see you being so Bad mood.
But while i was waiting alone, i pray down to the bottom of my heart, Asking God where are you? Hoping that you are alright. My mind was thinking and worrying all the time. i was so fearful being so alone, ppl were staring at me, i'm panicking to find you. then i burst out in to tears. crying and crying, shivering and felt so cold at the stairs. starving and gastric comes again. i didn't ate breakfast, lunch and dinner, just a waffle while waiting. i almost feel like fainting cos i cried too much, headache. But when you came up, the moment you ignore me, and turns cold.. my heart suddenly stops and shake with fear for that moment. i wanted to cry out loud and ask whats wrong? why are you like this to me? because of You, i can wait wholeheartedly just to see you safe back home. Is just a nature reaction to worry for you. But because of my character, i'm always thinking more far ahead, thinking of the worst. i can tell you that not to say hours, even it takes days to wait, i will still do the same. being so patient waiting with not a single complains.
But while i was messaging you, i really was crying, crying and shivering at the same time. so cold and windy. till i realize i was having fever and gastric. i wanted to tell that, i'm seriously felt so unwell, almost wanted to faint.. cos its so hurting.. insomnia for that night, tired and thinking the whole night till the next day i was so lifeless and had no energy at all. had no appetite and kept writing and drawing on my dairy.. i had lost 2kg for just two days. haven got proper meal at all. I'm tired.. and i'm really felt so sorry..