Is a birthday or death day

It seems happy? I'm not happy, waiting that u will take back my life. I tried to escape my path, why? I hate it, really felt so exhausted, stop faking! Some thought ran through my mind, I'm growing up again and my position is still the same. Once a friend said, u live for yourself, cos everyone is selfish, nobody is so kind to guide u long enough. Im trying to learn to be selfish, trying to get more experience. Since I choose to live alone, I gotta support myself by upgrading. I cannot let myself being step under peoples' shoe, cant let myself to lose out.

Since I failed to express what I thought, so why not keep it all inside instead. Saying out, only cause everything so much worst. Remembering that everyone is harmful to u, not to trust a person fully. No one is so stupid enough to help you. I thought of psychology, my mindset started to think whatever I'm gonna do now. I'm will not be the same like others so fcuking selfish and only know how to twist words. Everyone knows how to push the blames, everyone is afraid to admit. Every guys are jerk, perverts. I hate it! It reminds me of my shadows, getting rape from young, being innocent and f naive is so dirty, so cheap. And I swear, I make ur life miserable from that day I told myself. Not to trust guys, u might seem u had marry a good guy, but what if one day they cheat on u? Will u feel more stupid? I bound to learn from what I see, observing whats the consequence, I protect myself and learn to love myself.

Being too good to people, they tend to take things for granted and only needs you when they need help. As a secondary weapon, as a substitute. My life is just like this, I doesn't even know why I'm still so stupidly helping? Why you gotta make me to have a non heartless character? What's my gain? What will I lose? Why u made me till so miserable? Why people are so faked? Why they can badmouth ppl but why I dun bear to? What's their aim? Am I a retarded? I had alot of why's in me. Becos I was hoping I was never borned. I don't feel happy at all, liars and lies are everywhere! I hate it.

Why?

Seems so hard, seems so tired . Why god? Maybe I'm not worth to be a good friend. Sometimes I wondered, why must there be so many ppl in the world with different character and thinking. I wished I had learnt so much, wished I never was borned. I'm starting to hate bday. I dunno why. Why there's harmonious and unharmonious energy in this world. What makes me turn to be like this, I tried not to think unconciously, I tried to apologize to whoever I had disappointed. But why lord? Do I look more like a monster, a idiot? Why there is jealousy? You made me to be and have a kind heart but why? Everyone always take things for granted. I'm not happy at all. Is so fake so exhausted. Why Isit so unfair to me? I tried to become selfish, I tried very hard to turn bad but I can't do it, why I always thought others instead of myself. Isit a weakness or gain? Why I'm so coward to face all this? Why I'm so different as others, that I'm always left aside at one corner. I don't wana to be like those in the show, I don't wanna to get so tempered and I don't mean it, but why can't they don't understand me. U say live for yourself, other people will have it's own life, but i dun wan a family, I hate it alot.

Out of sudden I feel like shouting out! I dun feel good at all. Every mistakes makes me so stress up, makes me a useless person. Dun like the feeling of this. Why I have to waste my time again and again. Why I didn't choose a correct path? I never had do anything right, living in this fearful society that's makes me a idiot always fearful to be accuse, to be scolded for no reason. Isit my fault for always not expressing myself? Why is it so unfair? I felt so disgrace for being living here. I'm always worthless, never being recognise! So fcuk up! I hate myself!

suddenly i felt like i aint have the importance to you at all. suddenly after so much dream, it's always a warning. trusting six sense have the power not to commit more problems. too much things to work on, not gonna bother it. fcking no one had appreciate me.

i felt i dun suit this job. a fcking cowling also cant open. guys are liars are jerks! ccb. i dun believe i cannot survive alone. so wat i'm alone. i live for myself anyway. f tired. fcking started to lose interest.

i'm a liar. i'm dirty. fcuk. i'm a cheated. i hate myself.

i'm having alot of courses currently. i like what i'm working on. but if somethings goes wrong its reallly gonna hurt alot. hmmmm. nw i only left with family prob. facing such ppl i really needa tolerate alot. i was hoping to go on oversea work rather than staying here. best still higher pay. and i can forget the past more faster. whenever i rmb what happened last time, instantly i still felt the hurt. but since everyone seems ok, then i jus kept it to myself. actually i gt alot of thing keeping in me. but saying out will get things worst. argh. f. nvm

Knew everything wont go well if starting was ok. fcuk. realy dun feel like living here. if someone can just bring me to another country how great it is. To melbourne to new york. i try so hard to walk independently. going out alone is better than staying at that fcuking hse. seems like being protective is better to save myself. wtf.

guys are cheaters! are bluffers! suddenly thought of the past i felt fcuking stupid. fcuking idiot. seems like a clown. seems like i'm so fcuking weak. i will never start anything when what i know will happen afterall. i want to learn how gamble, learn how to play stock, learn how to earn money to fly away. it doesnt matter i'm going the right side or wrong one. i dun care how heartless i will become. since u bought me up, this will be what i will become. i hate a family and i will nv start one.

in the end by asking or by pouring out, it got worst. worst to the extend that, i'm feeling breathless. i'm a human and i also got feeling. why isit ppl get piss and angry easily and ignore the person and why i cant do it? isit great to stay in the middle being pressurize all the time? isit easy that u gotta satisfy all together cause u are so stuck becos u felt so stress up. isit great if u to reject a guy everytime when they confess to u that they like u. is always a lie. a lie that wants to get the person hearts and jus fades and dump it off. they treat so damn good for that woooing then wtf at the end. everyone's always has its hidden true color.

I learnt to become more realistic? i learn that everytime others misunderstood what u wanna say. jus let it be. becos afterall, if u feel whats really true is still yourself to believe. i had gt a new aim, a new perspective towards my life. Afterall, is still myself to choose what i really wants and moving with with great actions. i'm thankful. becos i had got such great friends. hmmm. i suddenly felt that i'm trying hard to grow up. thinking how childish i was.

trying to change, trying to independent.

was really hoping i just could just change a new environment for further studies.. i wan a chance to go. hope S.T will give it all out. felt that running away can jus forget everything.

step one to build day.

Morning gt some anger and disagreement with the shop. so i f care anyway. Today went out alone for the whole afternoon, took MC, walked quite alot places and late evening went to meet joey awhile. hmmm. kinda awkward but still got to laugh awhile. After that, rush to Plaza sing to meet someone for movie and dinner. So funny. its really damn Hilarious! thanks alot to two person* recently.

When i was alone outside, i felt the breeze and felt so lucky to see the beautiful warm scenery. actually Monday i was also kinda shocked for myself that i walked alone at orchard. And still i bought Starbucks for my buddy. She's really the best buddy ever. although i only know her for a month. haha. Although i nv got to a laugh like last tym, but still felt so peace whenever i'm calm.

seems like, i had grown to become more independent, and learnt alot of values in this typical life. Moved on and forget abt what had past recently. although I'm still feeling so empty. but its still not bad to be out alone. maybe i should get a camera. and maybe i should start saving up to go oversea and have a look of the outside. travelling is great. =)

i gotta change my outfit, sometimes i felt so retarded cos I'm already 19 and yet I'm still wearing this same old attire. having a goal in me now. i wanna be someone useful and not the one who's always so stagnant. Finally i got a new job that has a bright future. Step one to achieve.

terrified is how i felt now. Its like nailing someones' heart and can nv be mend anymore. it just felt so sad whenever you are going well happily to someone else and i'm not the one who can makes you happy. instead had bought so much anger and tiredness to you.

how i ever wanted to mend everything back. but it nv gonna be the same. becos those who had a hole will still rmb. And predict the way i used to be.

nw i had problems at work, had no one who's willing to listen my burdens anymore. not single msg. not a single care from someone. aching so hard every night.

thanks to an advisor, i learnt something. yeah. i was dependent of friends thats y makes alot misunderstanding and problems. hmmm.but nw, it doesnt matter how friends misunderstand me and how i tried to explain. cos their mindset cant adapts with mine. i jus wanna say, only best friends will no grumble out and say out the word thankyou when i'm thankful to you. it seems u doesnt understand me much. if so u just wanna hear that word, it just as if it was just like a normal friend who says thankyou and not as special and unique as a best friends. cos best friends uses feelings to say. seems like u had changed alot. is not i dun wanna to get close back with you.

alot of friends also done so much for me, but i also nv say out face to face thankyou to them. cos they know in my heart i'm alrdy thankful. so be it anot, believe anot is up to you.

a one week friend also know what's friendship, he treated the whole team kfc cos he quited. i wanted do that to every friends, everyday bring out a freind to play and eat and the person doent need to pay a single cent. but i dunno have the money to afford. but if i said that i wanna treat that person means i mean it. dun compare. i always have a reason behind for whatever things i do. you might not see from the outside of the conversation thats y u assume. i also nv say i dun cherish you. did i?

i felt so lucky

actually i'm normal but becos of that stupid father i lost my mood again. stupid! i bear~ just bear! think of friends can le.

i learnt alot of values again. thanks to alot of ppl. :) my new supervisor super strong! salute him! my dear sis panda also! thank you for being so understanding for certain secret we had. i cant bear to leave this shop. but is the path i wanna choose and pursue. i'm thankyou that u praise me for having the potential as my buddy. :) i appreciate alot. i also learnt that actually i'm lucky to meet them. :) thanks for the kfc today.

sorry

i wanna apologize for what i said and did. thank you for giving a chance to speak out everything in my heart today. i know what's wrong with me already. to joey, i wanna say that that tym one of them gave black face when i said i wanna go home. Cos he like so pissed till i like spoil the day. i'm sorry for that previous post. ya. i needa gain the respect of you and respect you as a friend.

to heat, i'm sorry to neglect you. sometimes i dunno what got into me and turn negative. ur advice is noted. thanks for giving me a chance to answer and listen what i wanna say.

to dine, fang, qh, jh, thanks for the concern. And make sure i said everything out to tell whats wrong with me.

a great bbq today. and i hope i will do something useful of myself and not being that stupid state.

Joey, heat,fang, qh, jh.... sorry. forgive me?

fuck. have u seen a family so emphasize on how much you owned them. and fuck they dunno how much problem i have. then ask me dun go work. they think they my god ah. ask me do this do that. fuckers. i just ask if can give me some money becos i left 5in my wallet. they start grumbling the whole day. say u own me this and that. fuck. i lend from friend and family must see faces. must as well i rather dun eat. and fuck if i say something they started to pick on me. say my room messy, wake me up at 7 to ask this ask that. i'm human not a robot. u think i slept well ytd. wtf. i still was crying ytd. cos i realise i'm still alone. still left out. still fucking stress. act like nothing happen totally cannot. i really fucking tired. i rather dun wan off day. becos i still needa find ppl to go out with me and in the end still see or even hear black faces. i ytd blog another blog. and i'm still crying.i turning into a mute becos i only talk to soft toy that i'm so lonely.

ytd plenty of ppl scolded me to wake up. becos all of this things comes and started from myself. i'm much better nw. hopefully i wont return to that stead again. sorry to everyone. and thank u to alot of ppl who nv give up on me. :)

Went to alot of place. marina barrage, jalan kayu, mount faber, seng kang. sorry i had changed. i start smoking again. ytd quarrel till almost my dad wanna beat me again. felt like killing him. dun feel like going home. really very fuck up. today kena scold twice at workplace again. i dun wanna contact them becos i dun wanna vent my anger and hurt u guys. recently i dunno why i felt so vengeful after all those bad things and burdens. i'm sorry to disappoint u all. but it seems so frustrate to be living nw. i really wanna give up but jumping down the train track. felt so confused. really dunno why i felt friendship hurts me the most and stress makes me felt so whirl and totally not myself.

why is that such a fucker guy? now i know the reason why. i'm really tired. why spoil my happy off day just like that. why is he so bastard? i just wanna make her happy and u just say a sentence and spoilt my friendship with her.

she got new friend now. and i'm nothing already. how happy u will be right? i hate you. i'm really useless that a 2 years friend trust you instead of me. u win! totally i lose and i'm brokedown. i have no friend anymore. i'm always alone. always crying alone. always bearing alone. why i always get misunderstood. work also like that, friends also like that, family also like that. i cant breathe now. i'm really tired of living. really tired to myself.

i'm really useless. why?!!! why are u like that torturing urself? If today he nv said anything, u are back still happy and cheerful. just becos of words~! U just emotionally brokedown. how can u torture urself and nv spare a thought to those who cares abt u?

i'm really tired. becos i'm know u so long le but yet i has been a useless friend who cant even say a thing to cheer u up. i'm really afraid of going work, becos i dun wish to hear u not being alright and suddenly something happened.

suxs. totally sux, at first is family, then work and now the worst part, friend! i breaking down also. becos i'm really stress up.

i'm really exhausted! why am i crying so hurtfully and so suddenly? why i cry just like that. i dunno. i realy dunno. i hate myself. have i really encountered stress now?

Fuck! i hate this home!!! fucking annoying. fcuk fcuk fcuk fcuk! money money money! go die la! die better nobody care me! anyway i'm always alone. no kinship also the same. i wanna be rich. buy own hse, buy a car.

why are guys so flirt? why must ppl be sure they like a person by looking on appearance only? i learnt from you. learnt from a guy who start to cheat a small innocent gal since i was 14. that's why i had nv been serious at all. but when i got serious to another fucker last 2 year, i totally dun believe that just things as 'love'. today after hearing back that guy name again. it reminds me of my stupidness.

i hate work. i hate you. i hate it when i got bullied! i'm stupid!

though i'm struggling, but i'm still contented.

Ytd i cried out loud! stress up and i'm really fcking tired. i wanna sleep but cant get into position. I knew today will be so damn bullied. Ask me pack the whole store de stock! imagine my shop all the clothes times 10! you can understand how i felt? Today when i saw those stocks and clothes lying on the floor i damn piss off, felt like going home straight. so asshole! they purposely de sia. flare up! i slowly tie one by one for 8 hours! u know how painful it will be? especially tying with raffia string!

But with my mind kept thinking of my sis that i'm gonna meet with those uncles i faster rushed. damn peichek! can u believe i didnt smile at all for that 9 hours of work? i wanna meet sis becos i only can let out myself to be truely i am that all close friends know. i enjoyed happily with them. those uncles keep disturbing! faint~

but my dear sis very caring to me, cross road she know i scared then she hold me tight, then when those uncles ask those over qns she straight away object them to say that. really happy! hehe. (: ya. of cos she today damn happy too. hahas.

i just reached home and one uncle send me home by car with joey sis and a vietman boy. hahas. contented although is just a few hours of happiness. i treasure my sisters alot. really! <3 once i let go and put aside work, i will stay happier when a close friend makes me smile. =)

what are striving for?

Typical people living in this fast forward society. By looking at others, i reflect on myself. Spending time more meaningfully rather than staying at the same spot as always. i suddenly thought of joey's and my manager words.

"You will never pursue or even achieve if you just say it without action. if you wanna pursue a good pay and a good life, its your attitude or action that counts."

Just by looking on those passerbyer that took train with me, i realise something that make a principle to myself. I don't wanna to work or live blindly like those ppl that are just repeating their daily work scope to survive and strive work endlessly. They will never be contented, always crave for endless branded goods and always wanna to win others. It is really meaningful or useful?

Believe and ask my heart.

alone.

mentally i wondering i'm always alone. alone having so much debts. mentally i wondered did i live here to be miserable? a home doesnt seems like what's mend to be, burden its what a family is to be. It doesnt matter how they dun understand me, it only matters for them is money. Friends is another issue. What's is a friend for? i find myself so retarded as a friend. Why must friend in need then contact? why cannot stay in contact? In workplace, had beared so much of pressure and scoldings everyday. at home is the same. I just want a peace at home to rest and sleep. but still why must they torture me still. i'm broke down. fall sick is what i gets, running from work, and alone facing so much problems. i'm tired. totally felt that i'm used to be alone.

today is pretty moody and crazy. Felt so tired. While in bus, i cried so exhaustedly. but overall is okay spending with all my sisters. mentally i really hate guys! felt that they all liars! i want a payback. making you regret. i'm totally hopeless. argh.

totally going crazy.

Recently when i was about to updated blog, my dear sis will always talk on phone to me every night. then i cant multi task. so i off lappy instead. i had too much to say and tell for my super damn funny happenings during work. Only panda sis know. cos everyday she's my saikang hotline, hear me talk, entertain me, laugh with me and always ask what to tmr wear the next day. =D haha!

Ytd i ended work at 2.30, so i went to meet my dear sis at bedok. Ya i know. she indeed missed me. haha! although it just one night nv meet. hahaha. She came down to find me to drop my stuffs to me. so nice of her. (; we bought a new pair of friendship band which represent meaningful quote of us. today she helped me to tied on my hand. =) two years 3 months of friendship. (: actually is sistership. ya ya. i know and she knows.

Now the funny part, last two days i saw two stupid horrible guys who strip half naked in the fitting room and nv close door, doing stupid movement. one is got alot of muscle and he stare at the mirror making his muscle moves! next is when we are about to close shop, that guy was still trying clothes and he has a hairy chest!! omg! i feel like screaming! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! hairy monster!

Today worst still, two different customer came to my store speaking to me that makes me feel so retarded! cos they have short tongue and you know how to imitate them? is by listening too much on their speaking! so stupid sia~ i talk long with them, my mouth dunno why become short tongue also! faint! i feel like pulling my tongue! damn funny!

Last week! worst still i kena scold my a customer saying fuck! wtf! i nicely promote a promotion to him, but it doesnt hit the promotion criteria thats y i say cannot then he shout at me! bloody hell. i bear sia. knn. if not, he's dead meat. only know how to say fuck! flare up. then recently my supervisor also very suxs. aargh.

luckily i can cool down after every happy talking at night. if not i will go crazy. thank you for cheering me up. =) i'm thankful for a big sis like her. today she gave me her biscuit. hahaha. so sweet of her. =)

great!

My off day on wed was great. simply felt so happy the whole day. laugh and laugh till i go home. spent 17hours outside is simply exhausted! so crazy~! mao~ hahahaha! lulian~!

ytd after work i talk on phone with panda. Stupid! make laugh till stomach pain. its a secret. i cant say it out. ltr she kill me! hahahah! we talk for an hour and a half then when wanna sleep le, we both cant stop saying goodbye with a super funny word. buay tahan. laugh non stop! she la! i stop saying that word le, she start it again, then laugh again. faint. I sleep also still laughing. cos is a damn cute word. hahahaha! only i know she knows i know. :X curious? go ask her? hahahaha!

Btw fatty panda change number le. she obiquack, accidentally press pin for her sim card! luckily she rmbs my number if not i'm gonna kill her! hahahaha! =D

hopefully next week will come fast again. woots! <3 love ya!

i misssssssss you...... miss dancing jellyfish dance. wahahahaha! ;P

Everyone been so busy. hehe. but had so many sayang from each individuals. yippee. =D hahaha. tmr off day! yeah~~!

this two days

i enjoyed myself with her. and at night enjoyed with them. but still i cant forget that terrible workplace i gotta go tmr. very very tired. dun feel like going back there.

my dear panda and black piggy had troubled. one quarrel till cry, one kena scolding till very jialat. hais. want sayang them alot but i wanna give my job first. I felt so weaken becos i'm not facing it. I miss my days enjoying.

i cried wholeheartly and run.

Ran away from reality today. cant face myself going work. Ytd i totally broke down cried and cried. Felt so exhausted. so stressful. Becos i'm wasting tym again. i want a future, i wanna be perfect. i dun wan to be looked down.

I took a two days mc today and tmr. but really i was having running nose and slight fever. thats why doc give me two days mc. Finally i took a break today with my dear sis. Mentally, felt comfortable. becos i got to laugh and talk naturally. I had been a fake me working in reality life. no smiles, no joke, no crazy, totally uncomfortable acting like an innocent blur fcuk that people thinks that i'm like a small gal.

Its just like two sided. i'm back to the emo sided recently. today didnt eat whole day. although is super hungry, but till evening no feeling le. I'm really tired! really really tired. Felt like giving up but still i had so much debt in me. i wanna tried running it away forgetting it totally by smoking, by drinking, but if i start it, i will nv live long anymore. doc warn me. Yes i know, i'm starting to get the worst of the worst. So cherishing is my only say.

i'm thankful to have u. to know u & to treasure u.

Damn it. today was a freaking exhausting day! can say 12 hours shift! stoopid stock! damn fed up ah! rush and rush just to get out of the workplace to hear my panda voice! Guess what!? once i step out of workplace 10msg in my phone! hahahaha! wth! first tym! cos the store in the workplace reception damn lousy! all contacted me except dine and qiuhui which i seldom text them. Call panda and replied everyone.

But in the workplace, my manager came down to the shop today. He is a great guy! salute him! He actually improves me rather than look down on me. =) He told me one logical and sensible question, is that what i really want in my life? Asking is that aerospace i'm striving for has an aim? Then the next thing he asked, what will i do with that diploma cert? had i ever work hard for it? It reflects in my mind till now.

Am i gonna be so aimless like before? he said, always ask ur heart what u really wants, and that makes u starts to think. instead by waiting till dunno when, then it never ripes. If u nv ask ur heart, u will nv start thinking what u really wants.

And i simply felt the acknowledged love by my dear sister, she finally acknowledge me by saying loveya. Although is just a two small words by her, but it gave me motivation that i will work hard with my sister's support. (:

Though is the blame to myself who chose to take up this job, but yet i gained something valuable than money. sister's love & a different mindset.

Dote a sis with ur heart ♥

is this so familiar? hehe :X



Indeed another great day off spent wisely again. So excited for my sis first day of work and some poly! wondering how will panda handler well with the new atmosphere and ppl. hahas. So today took a peek on her workscope and disturb her abit. Bought this panda to buy mac and she went back shop to eat. pinch her, beat her head abit, and gave her a gift. After loitering around tampines, i bought topshop panties for ahem. size 8! measured my waist against the panties and wanted to take a paperbag to cover my face. MALU! -.- to her exciting part i will elaborate more ltr. hahaha!

And also wondered will dine and qiuhui make alot of new friends in poly? hahaha.

Cos i felt so paiseh to buy undergarments. -.- hahaha! And after that, took bus 22 tour to amk for abt an hour and a half and reflect. Had seen quite alot of scenery, indeed beautiful. Reached amk and loitered around fairprice Xtra, ate sweet corn and waited for jianhui. =)

I and her had a great tym laughing when using my cardigan to cover our hair from that heavy rain.like idiot like that mah~ ppl look at us while they had an umbrella instead. hahaha!

And so meet qiuhui and we three slack, eat, chat till 9 plus. hahas. jianhui very kaisu! tak boleh tahan! qiuhui starts her story abt her first day of sch. hahaha. We ate quite alot! especially me! drank i think litres of water! different type of catergories somemore! faint! i whole day like kept peeing.

And so 9.15 i took 969 down to my dear panda workplace to wait her to end work. hehe! (;
So excited to talk talk with her. long tym nv talk talk liao! hehehe. so happy! Funny sia! She told me that during work a indian gal who's smaller than her called her AUNTY! how much? hahahahahahha!!!=X

Then hor then hor! when we are in bus, we laughed damn loud! cos the g-string panty drop on the floor! hahahaha! i thought i lose it at other place, and wondering if the stranger pick up will be like omg?! hahahaha. laughed till she got tears come out, then i think i laugh till mouth cramp. hahaha! =P she looked very happy, and that makes me contented for a 30 mins reunion i had treasured. a min of laugh can bring out great moments. And she told me quite a few stuffs that make me happy. =) happy that i had a great friend like her. hehehe. cheers! And especially the post she said love me forever. hahahah! my sis hor! dun play play. :D pending for my next off again.

♥ my sisters and my life now.

today ah pui gave me a surprise by coming down to boon lay. i laughed becos she got lost at jurong point. she cant find adidas! hahahahaha! funny! then i was in the store room, then got cctv then saw her come in adidas then she want call me then i rush out and chiong to her. =) hehehe. definitely she missed me! and i also miss her damn lots. we both chit chat and bought her to eat lunch. sayang sayang her here and there. super happy! hehehe. stare at her when she eat! hahaha! her face got new pimple. -.- hahahah! then tmr going lavender tke passport then go parkway meet my dear panda, see her work work, then after that then meet heat they all. =) hope tmr will be fun. =)

hehehe. joey sis miss me! heheh! i miss her too. and all sisters! muacks!

stress up with work! emotional last two days. i dunno why i cried and cant sleep.

complain and stupid customer!

Woah! i'm back! back with so much misses! too much to tell to all of them.

First thing to complain, felt so poor thing sia! only work jurong point 4 days, whole body bu shi blue black jiu shi hand bleed! bloody hell! that stupid shoe customer, i climb so high and got hit by a shoe box with SHOE, end up dun want! hit to my face blue black! =( pain! i shouted ouch damn loud!

Next customer, worst still! she think i superwoman ah! can multi task meh? two customer approach me ask me take things of cos i take the most easiest to find de la! wtf! cannot wait meh! ppl need to climb ladder de leh! damn high sia! imagine you climbing till ur hse de ceiling then no support, anytime will fall down! if they were to look at the store room then they really understand! damn poor thing sia! tripped quite a few times luckily nv drop down! but hand alot of cuts! back damn pain, kena bang by the metal. =(

Some customer damn stupid, asshole sia! ask me take the size for them, then i come out, they walked off liao! zzzzzzz! horrible ppl!

now, lets come to the funny part, sometimes u cant blame ppl pronouncing incorrectly. but is to over! i dunno how to say that word liked her! damn funny! i down there giggle sia! buay tahan! then got some aunty step yi ge ang moh, super singlish! today, a damn idiot guy customer dun understand my english! i say loud and clear, said; i help you take a new one! he har~? 6times! imagine i repeat the same sentence and he still har and dun understand?! felt like scolding him, har har har, lanjiao hor u ga! then my colleague helped me said! finally he understood, then the next stupid qns he asked, can use US dollar? -.- dot dot dot! -.-

hahaha! everyday there's always a different weirdo! my colleague there damn disturb sia! cos i pronounce Hi, welcome very act cute! then all imitate me! imagine my voice then guys copy? so gay leh! hahahah! tmr is my off day! i super miss everyone! hope tmr i can enjoy! cheers~ <3

digusting!

Actually i go work adidas, my first aim, see all the stocks! see which one to buy! hahaha! Next, see shuai ge! cos got motivation to work! next, lose weight. next get free shoe and attires! wahahaha! next, get free discount voucher! next earn more more money go shopping! woots!

Met some new friends at ion and jurong point. A gal i met same birthday as me! hehe! today lesson, we two talk non stop. hahaha. she's younger then me actually. at first she thought i look like secondary school person! Am i so young? omg! tyty~ so happy anyway!

After lesson went to disturb my dear sis awhile and go work.

Now to the main point! after getting to see how bed bug looks like in real life, i got to see this horrible incident today! Three words to say WTF!

While i'm otw home on train, i got a seat and so those blangalas were also sitting down opposite my seats! I listened songs, text joey and heat.

As my situation awareness damn high. i saw something crawling and moving on a blangala pants, near to his shirt. It simply looks BLACK! crawling so fast! faster than cockroach!

Wth! another blangala swipe that bed bug infront of me! i straight away pause myself for that moment! seeing that small little black thing crawling towards me, i stamp my feet. hahaha! but after seeing it crawling to a china guy who's wearing black pant, i immediately hair stand~ er xin!! omg! gross!

then worst come to worst! that stupid blangala dunno why suddenly pop out another bug, but is orange in color! WTF!!!!! that SAME blangala swipe that bug again! INFRONT OF ME!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH! going crazy! hair stand till now! grosss! i felt like screaming! but no one to scream to! that panda sis was sober, that heat cant use hse phone! how miserable i was! i bear till go back home! in my mind still can rmb that bed bug face! omg!

today two thumbs up!

today was great! becos ah heat and dine accompany go work and eat~! hehe! so happy! and joey posted she miss me too! :D ah heat also told me she miss me too at msn~ hehe!

si panda aunty! scared me early in the morning while she having asthma! first word in my mind! panicked! wondering should i skip work and rush down to pei her see doc! but scare ltr too last min liao. =( so text her ask her faster go see doc! was freaking worried the whole day for her. ya! ya! definitely i missed her~! =( wednesday then meet her nor. then at night play bbal with heat and dine. :D woots!

Btw i thursday work at Jurong point liao! not ion le! sadded! =( sian!

2nd day of work.

Tired, leg sour, but when i think of money and free adidas clothing, $120 shoe and other outlets voucher(topshop, adidas, etc!). i straight away forget abt tired! hahahah! although it sux to be at home, i still prefer staying at work. fed up ah! i wonder why i had such parents! freaking calculative and stingy! Fcuk up! at home also cant rest well! i only smiles when i see my sisters. felt so weird for not smiling for today. so not me. =( i miss laughing. ytd i smile cos i got to see ah jie panda! =) cheers me up and she shake my hand saying JIAYOU! =) hahas. love her tons~~ a first day encouragement for me. =) after she went off i'm still smiling. becos it was a surprise mah. thought she was sleeping at home. but when she came, i smile wide wide~ hehe!

i treasured today.

Today is my happiest day ever. i really enjoy deeply. Today i stare alot at panda sis and the rest! i'm thankful for everything today! really ♥ them lots! felt contented to shoot the last ball and scores! (:
And my dear panda joey sis, i will like to say, thankyou, jiayou and goodluck for tmr too! <3<3<3 Mwakzz~

For heat, i wanna say buck up, please jiayou to find a job! hahaha! hope to bbal again with ya! =) jiayou to lose weight too! hahahah! <3

For dine, i wanna say jiayou for ur poly! study hard wor! and get well soon! =) play bbal again one day! =) <3

The rest, all the best too. Rmb to visit me at orchard ion, ADIDAS! =) hahahaha! and miss me too! ^^

i love ah pui-s~

Let pictures do the talking. lazy to type, becos i post at another blog too. hahaha! i <3 you too sis! =D hahahaha! muacks~

sadded

Today called up the office and this friday will be my first day of work. SIAN! =( i scare i go work, then cannot see them liao~ =( boo hoo. Only sunday off! sadded.

I will definitely miss ah pui joey, ah pui dine, ah pui heat, ah pui fang, ah pui jian hui, ah pui qiu hui de! =( sadded! only four days left to enjoy. =(

Thursday i'm a singaporean le. go there shun-ba all this. argh~

treasuring the days left with you! =(

PEACH tea for a month?

Yesterday, did room cleaning, mopping, tidying my messy room. Guess what i found? woots! i msg joey to disturb her! I said i found a one month ago de Peach tea that she bought for me! Wahahaha! =D

The next msg she replied, 'WTF _|_ YOU DAMN DISGUSTING LEH!'. Woots! i dunno why i felt so happy irritating her~ Actually she don't intend to go out de. Then she sian till wanna find job, and so i pleased and asked her if a irritating housefly could follow her? She said, 'eeeee. housefly! IRRITATING SIA! no. hahahahs!' Then i thought of another insect! Bee~~! I asked the same question again. She behind tak boleh tahan said she felt like killing herself. I said no~~~! No Honey, no bee~~ hahaha!

Finally met her at tampines~ She laughed at me straight away after she alight bus! Laughed at me becos the way i looked at msg very retarded! =.= zzzzz! The weather very horrible! Rain till so big~ We both gotta dash through the rain to century square. The moment we step in the shopping centre, first reaction was SHIVERING! shiver till the teeth ownself will shake de leh! hahaha! Worst still ah pui joey still make me laugh, got colder and colder. Very funny sia! She dunno eat wrong medicine! Whole day laughing and will entertain every lame thing i said! hahahah!

Yeah! tmr ah pui sis cooking food for me to eat! =) so happy!

sister's loved!

I love Sister Jonee, dinee and heatnee! Muacks!! <3

Today felt so sayang~ hehe! In train like gonna faint le! dine support me when i'm squatting down. =) vomited so horribly! The feeling suxs! like so dizzy and going faint like that! i got one period cried! hahas! So emotional breakdown! -.- ah jie sayang me not to cry! hehe! i looked so blur looking at heat and joey passing my vomit to each other. hahas! funny sia. joey kept disturbing heat becos she kept eeee-ing. So cute la! after seeing dine's blog i laughed! indeed true! :D

After that vomit, i felt better after 15 mins. And so i stick awhile to joey, cos i saw her sayang and comfort! the first thing she saw me, she pat my back ask me not to cry! haha! at first i nv thought of crying de. -.- hahas! too weak to cry and talk! Got one part very funny! heat kicked joey's leg! then joey very dramatic! funny sia!

Then while walking, i behind then realize dine's shoe spoil! she walked till so funny sia! then we three imitate her walking style~ Super retarded! haha! Then that dine very funny! tak boleh tahan her! She scared me for a rubber band on the floor! we laugh till peng~ After all the craziness, we went back home to tap a short nap. super tired and weak~~ =D Today i saw the love of my sisters!

getting the worst ?

Today went for a lunch with joey, accompany her for her distribution, and again she tickled and pinch me with all kinds of insects she can think of. After she finished, her bf came to find her, and so i'm off to IT show with gg and heat. exhausted and terribly leg pain. And finally heat got her laptop, went to rest at wang's cafe and play bbal arcade. Then back home with again disagreement. Hack cared and watched transformer.

and now updating both blogs and thinking how to make full use of this time. felt so much inside my chest. I cant stop thinking. i cant face this dream i had. hopefully my immunity gets weaker, i know if i nv prevent it now, i'm getting the worst. Isit what i'm pending for? blood blood blood.

stupid me!

Today during noon when i'm with ah heat, i'm feeling so exhausted and weak~ Maybe becos of that humid and tempting weather making me gone crazy. haha! i disturb ah heat till she afraid of me! HAHA! funny sia~ Then after that, tour 811 to wait for missy ma-yi to leave hse to work at tpy. hehe!

SO while heading to tpy, she text me, she lau-sai-ing~ hahaha! met her and disturb her shitting process~ And first stop~ Maxi cash. Then we two stood at the escalator and distribute, she disturb me, bluff me say my hair, my hand, my face, my waist, my shoe got dunno wat, ants ah, cockroach ah, mosquito ah, housefly ah, SCORPION she pronounce as scorpio~! HAHAH! can you imagine how torture i'm by her? hahah! pinch my waist saying scorpion biting me, pinch my arm say got ants bit me, hit my head say got mosquitoes, step my shoe say got cockroach, hit gently on my face say got housefly! HAHAHAHA! alot of excuses hor her?

then my turn~ payback time, while she was distributing, i purposely walk down the escalator there to go up to her take that tissue. pretending that i'm a passerbyer~ hehe! i laugh till tak bo leh tahan! Cos she nv look at the ppl while giving de! hahaha! funny sia! Hmmm. then when she end work, pei her till bus stop wait for bus and tripped her fall down.. hee~ =P hmmm. budden when i went off to mrt station, she text me say she tripped in bus!! HAHA! i laugh when i was walking to the station~

What stupid thing i did today is by taking the opposite of the train instead of reaching home 15mins earlier ago. -.- HAHA! i realise it when i saw plenty of tv facing the train while it passed so familiar. DAMN blur sotong! while i alight at orchard, i purposely walked one big round at the station so that ppl dun realise i took wrong train back home! I told in msg to heather and ma-yi sis what happen~ they laugh till faint. joey laugh till she kena choke by rice! haha! i down there make silly smile! funny sia! i think i kena torture by her too much till i dunno which train to go home! hahah! tmr gonna pei her again. and go IT show with heat and gg. =)

Happy b'day Joey!

Let picture do the talking. Happy birdday to her! We sang her song using the mic! =) her face blushed. So cute and pretty! =) hehe! two thumbs up for her birthday! great memories disturbing ah heat! =P Especially she wants to eat KFC! and We just bought aunty aunt! =D

these few days

Got sunburn, ytd went sentosa wearing bikini. today worked with an accused, used to those accuse and malign. Went to cityhall alone and heat came awhile to play arcade with me, then she went back home, went to tamp walk around, slack and observe ppl. Got a accused scolding from home again. tmr think should be getting aeroplanes again.

Tired and exhausted of my life! neither a lesbian nor a sister? Annoying pest, useless friend.

I guess you all will hate me! i'm useless, i'm nothing. i have changed, once i saw the last glimpse of my light, i betray myself! i'm a liar! Kill me!

I'm struggling painfully, begging so much ppl and lost my integrity. I tired to be good! i'm tired to live on. thinking which vehicle can hit me the hardest. thinking i maybe shall kill my family and die after them! You made me so vengeful! you made me miserable.

chalet and sisters replay

This three days had been great. Plenty of funny incidents and accidents! HEATHER kena BIRD SHIT!! hahaha! I'm peeling prawns in the toilet with qiuhui bathing inside SINGING! -.- Telling ghost story making everyone hair stand and shivering. Scaring qiuhui and heather in the toilet while they both scare till bath together. i off their lights and bang the door till they scream! hahaha! cool! Falling down to the drain while i'm going to throw rubbish! -.- MALU! cos i scream loud loud woah~~

Cooking VEGE during bbq, by making a aluminium pan! Everyone praise my cooking. =) next tym i shall buy more vege! Drinking red wine and Heineken. Face totally red and sweating becos i had been bbqing for them the whole night. Receive a call from my dear sis! (: chat with her for around 30 mins. Played poker till lose 6 plus! Heather lose 10 plus, shengjie 60 plus, Kor got win 40 plus during day one and lose on second day a little!

Kor treat us hasbrown early in the morning 5 plus. The first day we slept at 9am!! till 1pm get up to marinate the food! that's when ah heat got her bird shit! Alex and geraldine damn lucky! they both de is the shit dropped beside them! very near sia! i saw every shit drop on the floor! hahaha! super funny! All of them like gambler like that! faint! too much to say and laugh! blast music and took group photos!

The second day, 4 plus am then can get to sleep! damn exhausted and fed up. 9am tossed on bed till 10am then get up and pack up. Reached home and went to bath and then went out to meet my dear sis! super missed her! we both were teasing and laughing all along! Though she was terribly sick. i sayang her and lie on her shoulder! haha! She blame me for passing her my sickness when i recovered! =P oops~ but still she looked well la! she still can eat small choco cake and drink bubble tea! -.- hahaha! i was pestering her to meet her on either today or tml! haha! She abuse me leh! pinch me, push my head away, change topic! hahaha! Then she went home nor, and i went to meet shengjie, heat they all. He helped us take group photos and we tried dancing together near the void deck! Damn funny! doing the jelly fish dance that i created! =P funny sia! great memories! i love them lots! really!