You are wonderful!

Gonna print this out! =)



So cute and big head hor?



Woots! ytd was simply the best day ever! My pretty sis helped me to put contact lens! =) She really look very pretty! hehe! so proud of her for being a fierce sis of mine! She hold me while i had difficulties walking and sayang me ytd! hehe! =D I'm really contented with every small gesture u made. =) Even a big scolding, i confirm will cry but i still love ur scolding! cos it shows that u cares!

Hmmm. after the graduation thingy, went to iluma with sis to watch hot summer. nice! =) THANK YOU sis! =) Too much to say. Although i sometimes have taken most of ur days with me, i'm sorry for getting u pestered by other ppl for asking u out instead. But i'm grateful that even if i didn't know that you rather went out with me than others, i still treasure the few hours that i can spend with you. =)

You really look gorgeous ytd, in fact everyday. You had always think that ur imperfection will make u felt so negative. But to me, u are really perfect! Even if you have gu tus on ur head, even if you have sketch marks, even you had rashes on ur face, even you are sick, i will still go pat ur head like i always do. I know u already know that i never despise you as a great sis of mine. But just wanna say that, even if other cant see or understand you more than i do, YOU ARE REALLY THE BEST! :) hehe ^^

But sometimes everytime i praise you, it's really true! but saying u head big, is just to make you laugh, your head big means u have a big clever brain la! HAHA! =P

Tml gotta wake up damn early again! totally gone case! Wonder how am i gonna wear contact lens when my eyes is so small in the morning! But hopefully my dear sis have an idea by forcing it in! haha.

Had been worrying of alot of things that's coming near. Chalet, my dear sis b'day, what sch am i going? when am i gonna leave this hse independently?

Sometimes i felt like opening a new blog to shout it all out. There's too much to say, too much to complain, too much for holding it all inside.

No one understands! argh~ innocent freaks!

Trees that's falling apart, leafs that's seeking for water, it withered and turn red brown. No longer green and seeking again.

Looked upon the sky, Clouds forming side by side. Wondering what if it make me a smiley face backed up? Thinking back of those wonderful moments of mine.

This is why i love long rides bus. Alone listening the songs that make me emotional and reflects. And also can i send a naggy sis back home safe and sound. =) HEHE!

She hor! everday also love to scare me de! Afternoon i see her okok, then back home, not vomiting then jiu asthma attack. Wah. i think is not she die first, is i die first, shock and panick to death~ hahaha!! duh!

Heather also! Always so stubborn! Vomit blood ah! Ask her jianfei, but she still kept continue eating unhealthy food! Haix~

Geraldine also! She had some parents conflict! I kena think it isn't fair for her. Hmmm. but i cant do anything becos is her parents.

I today whole day was peeping and staring at her. Afraid that she's isn't feeling well. She told me not to make her laugh today, becos her heart will pain. her windpipe ytd make her had difficulties breathing. I'm so worried. And so i try my best to kept quiet. But this quietness make me felt so dote. =) hehe! She bought disposable contact lens for me and herself! (: (: (: hee!

So after buying when to bedok pei her take clothes from her bf hse. after that, she told me she tired. So she say take cab home. then in cab i tak boleh tahan. Make her and myself laugh! she keep pinching me! haha! cos i laugh at her! =P then i had a happy smile back home. becos she still can smile. =) Hmmm. had my dinner and played bbal with heat. woots! Slimming time!

What i've seen.

I've realise the sign u gave me. Realise my time is no longer as it used to be. I'm damn irritated and hate PPL whom are so inconsiderate! Burn burn burn! must as well burn yourself in! Global warming becos of burning something that gonna cause so much to happen! It's all because of this people thats y its coming. I cant do anything anyway, just treasuring the last moments before meeting satan. lols! I'm not what you think i'm, it's just my bluffing side. Since you all wanna burn so much, so lets burn together in hell eh? Praying a god that doesn't exist? how stupid you are?

I'm really paranoid about some stuffs. If i put this religions aside, there's really too much things in me! Had been boiling it since years. Fed up~

I fucking useless too! Hate it when i cant do anything when A friend had a problem. Why i live so far to u? Asthma attack and going to the hospital by yourself. How heartache I'm now?! i can feel the breathless feeling struggling through and still you gotta walk to take a cab! I've seen it once in you and i felt F Helpless. i dun wan you to die. I was praying at home, not praying for my forgiveness but hers! Hoping Jesus will bless her and now she's alright. I'm relief. I said sorry to HIM. i said i know if i turn in to you, there's still too much of asking you for what things i had did since I'm born alive. Thankyou.

I've seen how angry and disappointed you are now. Especially me. I'm sorry.

wat a laughing day

It been crazy since Wednesday to ytd, brought back some irreplaceable moments. Disturbing hamster heather... te-er~~ hahaha! ganging up with jo-nee to make ah heat jealous~ hahah! by saying.... TWINS!! =P And shouting at her hair having Gu-tus~~~ (lices)! eeeeeeee~~ her leg also.. got gao-gueh~ (black dirts)! hehehe! so funny.

Then ytd we went to sing kbox, wah.... sian. abit regret go!! so exp! =.= haix! hmmm. nvm bah. not going kbox le... waste money~~ hmmm.

Ah pui joey also very shagg. hahah! hmmm. then after singing, i went to bought fries.. hmmmm.. forgot take salt to my coke. LONG story abt the fries! hahaha! super funny! ah dine kena ps by heat~ cos she went dating with shengjie liao! hahahha! then me and joey drag dine dine in, let them have sweet sweet talk. =P then ah heat give black face. =P wahahaha! she xin itchy itchy. thinking wat are we talking abt. =P

then jo-nee sis gonna go home le. and off we go~~ went home eating dinner then bbal with dine dine they all. Jianfei! woots~

a peaceful chinese new year for this 4days

otw to s'pore again

my most doted grandma! (:





I've seen warmth within those four walls, I've seen the care of each individuals, I've seen how blissful i'm living now. I've seen the tears of my grandma, felt the pain and sadness of that goodbye.

Although it was painful trip going there, went high fever in the bus otw to kl. ppl stepping my shoe here and there. i scream plenty of times scolding that idiot! Mosquitoes bite everywhere. collecting hongbaos and returning back to my dad. Uncomfortable bed with aircon, kampong and lifeless days. Although it peace me out during those few days. Felt that living in a pace that's slower and peaceful is much more enjoyable. Got to watch plenty of shows that i dun understand the language. Especially cantonese! hokkien so so~ malay gone case! Played with a hamster which looked resembles as my gone one.

Played with my small cousins, so cute and funny! but some moments i felt like staying there, doesn't have to face so much problems down there. i dunno why, after i came home, i'm back with burden again.

byebye

today i'm enjoying and treasuring this precious moment. i looked at her, i made my best to others to be a memorable one today. meeting as much ppl as possible. saying byes and thankyou! =) i really miss them. kinda unbearable looking the back of everyone. wanna gave everyone a hug, but why all like so gan chiong spider! =.= hahaha! nvm. hope i will have a safe trip. tata everyone. will be back on wednesday hopefully. love ya! muacks! happy new year! =)

thankyou sister joey for helping me on my nails. love ya. =)

same old place again!

heather guilty liao~ joey sadded. =X

then..Ouch~ ah heat step joey's shoe! black black liao~

once we smile so happily..


i think i have been going to bugis and orchard since last week everyday leh! wah lau! go till scare liao! tml going again! tml meeting joey to meet yuze,junhao and ryan! long tym nv go out with them since the school ended. hahaha! my dear joey today super cute! she make that woof woof sound! make me sayang her again. but it reminds me of heather!! hahah!

We've been to the arcade like almost the whole day! piang! we spend more than 30 plus in arcade! super crazy! i play the bbal game is like chiong de! sweat till uber CMI! can grow muscle liao! hehe. Ah heat hor, play the ddr cmi de, the whole machine like gonna spoil, cos she stamp the board so hard! hahaha! today shengjie join us to crazy. Joey know him during interview to our course. then me know him during attachment nor. he hor! dunno i'm his primary school friend leh! that means i have change to be a more cutier person nor! last tym too ugly and nerd liao! hahahah! no wonder always got bully last tym! hahaha!

hmmm. today had 10 hours of crazy and shopping! ate long john sliver for lunch and mac for dinner. haha! fattening~~

funny?

Firstly shy shy dun wan take?

Secondly BHB smile at camera!

lastly act yi ge neh neh!


i'm alright! i dunno wat got in my mind? kena possess? or satan ask me to cry? or he disturbing me? haix! nvm~ i forgot liao! and today was fun! Saw my primary school best friend!! hehhe! so happy! one time, got primary, secondary and ite best friends! yeah!!!!!

EH!!!! and today. they both super pervert! cos i change shorts, then they both look at my butt first then i turn around towards them, then they saw black black thingy, cos my panty abit transparent! then they scream after i wear finish. say got hair! abt!!! HEng dun mao~ bush de mao!! then i paiseh roll on joey! cos she laugh very loud!! hahaha! heather more worst! laugh till fall down from bed!! sibei funny la!! my assets all they see liao loh! no more value liao! hahahah!!!

but~~ Big jie jie more good! that fatty mei mei damn bad, hit my hand so pain!!! hahhahaha!!! =D sibei funny! Today her mouth beside got chilli!! then i point point at her, she wipe wipe, no difference! the chilli still there!! wahahha! ohya! as for joey jie jie, i wanna say thankyou for sponsoring me today. hehehehe! =D Love ya both!! Muacks muacks!

oh ya! i forgot to tell huifang can lend the tee to joey! oops! luckily she good enough! wont angry one!! haha =X

ohya! for jianhui, i still unable to meet her again. everytime comfirm not free when she ask me out? felt so bad! =( hmmm. as for dine dine, she today dunno BHB say her phone no batt then say msg alex. like we all will contact her today since we know she got dating! =.= duh~~

Then hor, today at bugis saw qiuhui,huiqi and fang, three versus three, but tall versus short!! hahaha! and hor! huiqi curry pork bigger than mine 10x!! =( sadded. me not enough hair~, no money $$$ go yunan hair care~ anyone? sponsor?? hahahhaha! so lame? i'm crazy now eh? ytd so emo? today so retarded? hahah! heather say i now like depression!! hahahha! eh! thank u all for concerning for me ytd! so fun pranking u!! haha! cos i kept rejecting ur call! first tym i kurp ppl phone, so shuang~ and hor, first tym got ppl wait outside at my hse thought i'm sad or angry. i dwn giggle, cos i saw the shadow~ hahahah!

something is calling me. i pause myself looking at the window. several breathing stops. becos my nose is blocked. tears falling... lost. had several images that something is gonna happen. my head is empty. my heart still pumps. looking at him. asking why u always destroy my hope.i rejected every single concerns. becos i'm felt so heartless now.i hate you.

who am i

i dunno why am i so vexed up today.i dunno why i'm crying so heavily. i dunno why i'm so flare up today. i dunno why i feel like ending. i tried venting out playing basketball. i used my whole strength to run and run and run. i'm tired, really exhausted. what's wrong with me?

why is it so unfair for me? why i gotta talk to myself, crying and asking myself what i'm here for? alone in my room, typing wat i'm feeling now. i'm lost. i'm tired. i'm holding something heavy. Why must i pretend? if one day i'm gone. i perish like an ashes, saying the last sentence. i'm sorry to be a nothing.

suddenly no breath, no one to speak to, no one who understands, asking if today was my day to live on? now my atmosphere is quiet, not even a single sound, i stop breathing for that moment. struggling to breathe again. struggling like no knows. crying like no one knows for this moment. felt like saying goodbye.

OL joey~ =D

Today went joey hse first to pass her tee, then accompany her go work and sit down look at her and her belongings. hahaha! She super funny and cute~ =D Wear the clothes more mature! like one mummy bring one small gal go out. hehe! Then i sat down at one corner observed at her. =D

She got one funny pattern! Always will look back to me and smile. so cheerful la. The way she do her job professional and approachable. Two thumbs up for her! =) cheers~

Then during late afternoon, i saw heartshape balloons that ppl are giving out. Saw her favourite color balloon. so i stood up and go for that person. the person CMI~ keep walking away. then after she saw me, i asked to have a yellow one. hahaha! then bought back to joey and motivate her with that heartshape balloon. hahah! then after she end work at 6.30. we went orchard. Wah. so freaking tiring. leg sour~~ hope she will do fine tml! Jiayou~

hehehe! high waist!

Today meet joey and heather to go eat and play arcade. Had a difficult time choosing wat to suit the high waist pants. Damn retarded and funny when i saw aunty joey wear! Funny~
Then while heading to iluma arcade, joey make a cute doggy sound then i pat her hair, but when heather do, i run away~ saying i dunno her! super funny! she thought she make till very cute like that. The voice so man~ then she not happy, when i run, she kept beating me and use her bag to swing my butt! hahaha! =D So BHB~ hahahah!

When heather played that outrun car~ She hor! Cmi! Dunnoe how to drive de leh! cant reach the goals! uber lousy! the joey's was her passenger~ hahaha! Then next, joey and me went to play another car de. but this time joey is the driver! she more steady then ah heat! funny leh! very fun too! hahaha!

And so after arcade, heather left for work. After playing the arcade, went to a gaming shop with joey. LOUSY shop! regret going there! faint! Then we went to dhouby gaurt actually is to go to dunno wat model interview. HAHA! heng, suddenly she change her mind, cos inside alot of ah lian~ hahah! And so we went to walk around at plaza sing till nothing to walk le then go for bus tour to bedok. Then walk around bedok with her to find new year goods~ super sister today! Wear the same high waist only different color tee today. Two nerdy aunty~

Hmmm. She found a flyer job. =D finally she no need to worry finding money currently. =D Relief~ =D Yeah yeah~ But i still dun feel like going Malaysia~ haix! Is better having Reunion dinner with sisters! =( Joey said that, 'Aiya, too bad you going malaysia if not can have reunion dinner at her hse.' sadded! :( i sometimes dislike going there becos our my cousin so big, also no chemistry to talk. No topic loh. Sian~ After i return back from malaysia straight away go find joey, heather they all. =) together wear nice nice go out and take photo~ ^^

sian sian sian!

I'm horrible sick~ running nose and sore throat~ :( so stuck up at home! sadded~ but think tml i will sneak out~ heheh! to meet joey! hahas. She super sad nor~ cant find a job. =( today called me quite a few times, so excited to listen up her call! confirm got something wrong when she calls me suddenly~ haha! The moment i picked up, she make a crying sound~ hahaha! say no jobs~~ and HUNGRY! hahaha! hmmm. guess she doesnt wanna go back home early, thats y she kept wondering around like hungry and sad ghost. =D

Funny~! haix! hope fever will goes down! i miss going out~ haha!

i hate you!

Fed up ah! Don't want give me money, still dun wan let me go out! Fuck! Purposely want me stay at home! You know how stress i need money! Fcuk! Like maid like that! Bastard! i feel like killing all of you! kill you! Chinese new year take hong bao all you all will snatch! Then Go there for wat? WTF! i go work myself, also can earn more than that! Fcukers!! i hate you!

If only i had that money to run out of this pathetic hse! All money-face! mother fuckers! I need money to find happiness also cant. Fcuk! stay this house so stress! i feel like jumping down the storey and die infront of you! see you will regret giving birth to me anot! i burn you down! asshole!!

crazy day!

Today meet joey go plaza sing to ask the part time thingy. After that, played whole day, window shopping, arcade, mee siam, and slacking around loh. She hor! Tak boleh tahan! kept giving me a singing expression with no sound out.

She today wear Half black/white skinny then i wear sky blue skinny. both wore the same black cotton-on long sleeve de without planning to wear it together. i super shocked she wore that, cos i thought she will wear tee mah. =D Both like twins like that, only she looks more weird! cos of her skinny. Alot ppl look at her and some even say eeeeeeee~ hahaha! then she scold them back eeeee your mother's bro in hokkien? hahaha! then i felt like digging one hole at cityhall. So many ppl eh! faint! But overall it was crazy nah. Got one part we laugh till like retarded like that. just saying some awkward moments and lame stuffs then jiu laugh till like gonna faint like that. haha!

Ohmy. I kinda think that she's quite upset inside her, i dunno how to motivate and comfort her. haix. see her sad sad i also sian diao~~

I had some reflection on myself. When i saw gg tag on heather's blog. Was thinking, i really had nv did something thoughtful from her and the others. And today joey just asked me, 'Why you all last tym was damn close~ but now like seperating?'. This qns have been rolling in my mind after i left her hse dwnstairs while taking bus. Suddenly felt that, maybe becos i never took my intiative to meet them more than joey. As She's my closest one, that in school i got to see her almost everyday rather than them. kinda think that i should take more intiative to dote them more than last tym. So sorry.