Ran away from reality today. cant face myself going work. Ytd i totally broke down cried and cried. Felt so exhausted. so stressful. Becos i'm wasting tym again. i want a future, i wanna be perfect. i dun wan to be looked down.
I took a two days mc today and tmr. but really i was having running nose and slight fever. thats why doc give me two days mc. Finally i took a break today with my dear sis. Mentally, felt comfortable. becos i got to laugh and talk naturally. I had been a fake me working in reality life. no smiles, no joke, no crazy, totally uncomfortable acting like an innocent blur fcuk that people thinks that i'm like a small gal.
Its just like two sided. i'm back to the emo sided recently. today didnt eat whole day. although is super hungry, but till evening no feeling le. I'm really tired! really really tired. Felt like giving up but still i had so much debt in me. i wanna tried running it away forgetting it totally by smoking, by drinking, but if i start it, i will nv live long anymore. doc warn me. Yes i know, i'm starting to get the worst of the worst. So cherishing is my only say.
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