It seems happy? I'm not happy, waiting that u will take back my life. I tried to escape my path, why? I hate it, really felt so exhausted, stop faking! Some thought ran through my mind, I'm growing up again and my position is still the same. Once a friend said, u live for yourself, cos everyone is selfish, nobody is so kind to guide u long enough. Im trying to learn to be selfish, trying to get more experience. Since I choose to live alone, I gotta support myself by upgrading. I cannot let myself being step under peoples' shoe, cant let myself to lose out.
Since I failed to express what I thought, so why not keep it all inside instead. Saying out, only cause everything so much worst. Remembering that everyone is harmful to u, not to trust a person fully. No one is so stupid enough to help you. I thought of psychology, my mindset started to think whatever I'm gonna do now. I'm will not be the same like others so fcuking selfish and only know how to twist words. Everyone knows how to push the blames, everyone is afraid to admit. Every guys are jerk, perverts. I hate it! It reminds me of my shadows, getting rape from young, being innocent and f naive is so dirty, so cheap. And I swear, I make ur life miserable from that day I told myself. Not to trust guys, u might seem u had marry a good guy, but what if one day they cheat on u? Will u feel more stupid? I bound to learn from what I see, observing whats the consequence, I protect myself and learn to love myself.
Being too good to people, they tend to take things for granted and only needs you when they need help. As a secondary weapon, as a substitute. My life is just like this, I doesn't even know why I'm still so stupidly helping? Why you gotta make me to have a non heartless character? What's my gain? What will I lose? Why u made me till so miserable? Why people are so faked? Why they can badmouth ppl but why I dun bear to? What's their aim? Am I a retarded? I had alot of why's in me. Becos I was hoping I was never borned. I don't feel happy at all, liars and lies are everywhere! I hate it.
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